Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
