Well apparently he's into motor boating.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
