i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize