I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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