But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
