You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
