I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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