Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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