Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just gargled with NyQuil
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
