Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Me. At least after what I've been through.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
