i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
