if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
