I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
