haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
