I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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