I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
