There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
