How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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