Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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