Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
