Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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