i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
