I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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