good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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