I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
