I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
he wants to bone in the snuggie
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
