shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
