Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
