sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
