The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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