you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you didnt know i had herpes?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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