he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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