I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
