My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
