Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
