I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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