dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
