barbara walters just said penis...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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