I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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