How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
