drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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