where does the pee come out of this thing
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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