I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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