I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
