Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
she smelled like a LAN party
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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