oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
