just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
