the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize