Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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