In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
