You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
