Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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