Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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