I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
