I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I think I won the penis lottery.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
